I Want To Punch The Teavana “Tea of the Month Club” Right In the Face

I have a rant blog. The First Lady loves tea. Drinks a cup every night. So being the awesome husband I am I got her a tea of the month club subscription for Christmas. I tried to find a good one for her and landed on Teavana. It’s like 250 bucks a year or something like that. It was the most expensive one I could find because that’s how moguls roll. Anyway I’ve never seen anybody put less effort into anything in my life than Teavana does with this shit. They just drop the fucking tea in a box and ship it off like it’s garbage. Hey assholes this is a god damn gift. Can you do me a favor and attempt to make this look presentable? Gift wrap it or something?  Maybe not have a homeless person put it together. Try not to make it look like a bag of dicks. Or at the very least can you tell me a story about the fucking tea? Like I want to hear how soothing it is and the story behind it. Wine and dine me a bit. Give me the bells and whistles. Tea is just as much about the experience as it is the cup.   This is a fucking disgrace.